I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
