i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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