i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize