In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
