nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I won the penis lottery.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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