Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
