its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
