Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There's always time for handjobs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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