Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
