I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
