I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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