My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
