My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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