So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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