Fine. I'll sleep in my office
only if we run a train.
done.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
