last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
