Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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