Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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