um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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