pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
one two three fourrrrnication!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
