You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize