Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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