I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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