We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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