peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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