I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
