You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
