You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
