i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
