i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
