I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
