I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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