ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
