My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
