We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
