Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
