Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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