Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
