I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So much rum. So many feels.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
