I accidentally burped into my bong.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
