Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
