he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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