i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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