i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
