Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is wine microwaveable?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
