Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
