Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
