You made me cry and you don't even care
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
