Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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