you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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