is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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