What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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