I just saw a hot homeless man
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize