Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
