im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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