Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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