you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just googled if crying burns calories
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
