So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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