Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
