it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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