By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I didn't notice because vodka
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
