me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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