Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
