i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize