I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
