last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
