also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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