walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's always time for handjobs
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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