i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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